Photo Credit: Matthew Henry via Unsplash

Creating Space for Self-Love

As a western society, we have been conditioned to believe more is better. If there is any feeling of lack, the default response seems to be to do MORE.

Do more. Be more. Give more. More more more…

Sometimes I think we need less. A lot less. 

In the book The Untethered Soul, author Michael Singer talks about how deep in our unconscious, there is a part of us that’s not ok with ourselves and goes on to talk about how everything is spiritual.

When I read the book a year ago, I believed the first part and rejected the second part. After growing up in a home that felt overly religious, I was reluctant to overly spiritualize my point of view and very much wanted to keep God and all things spiritual in a box. A year later, as much more has been revealed, I have changed my mind and believe the two elements to be deeply intertwined. We were made to be continuously filled and emptied by our divine creator and in relationship with Him.

Our creator wants to be the one to make us whole from the inside out.

We have been conditioned to fill our lives with more:
More work, more material things, more experiences, more striving. 

The Bible teaches us to “stop striving and know that I am God.” In our stillness, we can receive.

Stillness allows for expansion. Expansion of time, of energy, of love.



Photo Credit: Matthew Henry via Unsplash

Over the past few months, I have been trying to create more space in my life so that what is truly important can have the space that it needs to grow.

I now get up at 5:30 am almost every day to get to yoga by 6 am. This gives me space to give my mind a clean slate first thing in the morning uncluttered by distractions. It also gives me time in the morning to do things like writing, spending time outside and in meditation. Most importantly, it gives me uninterrupted time to reflect in stillness.

Surrender to stillness so there is space to receive.

For us perfectionists and never good enough-ers, creating space is really hard. We are so used to pushing ourselves that it may feel that we know no other way. 

I believe we were born knowing how to love and accept ourselves. We were born knowing how to receive what we need. Along the way, we bought into this lie that in order to be ok, we have to do more and be more:

That who God made us, somehow isn’t enough.

We twist circumstances in our lives to fit that narrative: 

“If I had just done this presentation better, this thing would not have happened (fill in the blank).” 

“If I had done this one thing differently, I would not be suffering and feeling pain right now.”

The truth is, that it is the struggling, striving and resisting that is causing pain. 

We are resisting fully accepting and loving ourselves in the same way we would a small child. We are resisting the universal healing love of our creator.

Surrender is a very active process in the beginning and it’s possible that it’s always an intentional act (I haven’t done it enough to be able to say for sure). In order to create a safe place to surrender, we need to create space. Lots and lots of space.

Start seeing where you can create space. Can you get up earlier? Can you time block your schedule to allow for more time for what’s really important? Most importantly, create space EVERY DAY for what feeds your soul so you can start to crack open your heart to receive the love that is your God given birthright. 

Surrender to stillness so there is space to receive.


Surrender to stillness so there is space to receive.
Photo Credit: Daniel Roe via Unsplash

Want to dig deeper into cultivating self-love?

Check out Mirror Work: 21 Days to Heal Your Life by Louise Hay.

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